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i realized that it's definitely different this time.

i don't put much effort.

i don't feel anything at all.

don't know why.

probably i've seen through the whole game.

i'm too used and comfortable of being myself that i don't wanna change the way it is.

"i just wanna get out of here and buy a boat equipped with flare gun, harpoons and bazookas."

"you shouldn't take life too seriously.
 you'll never get out alive." - van wilder -

i started to live by that quote after the mishap.

i don't care as much.

i don't want to care as much.

coz i don't believe in 'it' as much.

i'm just waiting.

waiting for the time to take me away from here.

i know what i really want in life.

"one of the weakest point of our body is the heart."

you'll die straight when it stops functioning.

mine is hurting me bad as just the other day...i experienced the burn again..twice.

feeling a little fuzzy right now but i'll definitely get through the clouds.

after all...it's just a moment of life.

finally the time has come for what i've been anticipating all these years..or at least i believe it will fall into place as it is eventually. *fingers crossed* just left with a bit of the details and i'm good to start.

"you need sacrifices to achieve what you want."

- kei 6

i've made mine and i hope i don't regret it.

it started with the longest night drive sharing the same tune through out the journey.

it ended with just a simple phone call.

it is her birthday today.

i sent her a text message twice.

the first one bounced after half an hour.

another got through but not getting any reply.

anyway...

"happy birthday."

edited at 6:50pm : it's almost a day now and still nothing. now i know i'm not the one with the problem. =)

i am required to chop animals into pieces or cut them according to the portion i need. sometimes i need to kill them myself and get my hands dirty..tainted with blood.

"i traded my karma for good food on the table."

- kei 6

felt really good today to be able to debone 3 little pigs and 4 of their cousins in less than 20 minutes but i believed i can be faster than that.

"in some ways they have already achieved what they want for this lifetime but somehow it's not complete just because we are not happy."

- kei 6

"i've already answered your question through thinking and i guess i don't need to say it out to you. hehe"

- ong pohlin

 "i believe in god but fuck religion."

- karl rathswohl

"that's not spicy?~! are u guys crazy?" *tasted his chili con carne with lots of paprika powder that we suggested to him to add more.*

- daniel schmidtaler

"i nearly died. my dad threw a knife and almost hit me when i was kid." o_O

- kirsten tsu

"no worries.. u still haven't lose.. don miss ur chance.. but go slow la."

- jeanne loh yun ling

"only the 2nd meal :-( but if you dun mind you can come over and teman me.. at the lobby :-p"

- louvelle goay juee

"we are really good at making wrong decisions and that's our talent."

- luke

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yeah and i regretted some of them else i would've cut off one of the problems by now.

i'm such an idiot. why didn't i even think of trying back then when i tried so hard way back then? =(

but then again...who in the world can stand my working schedule being so uncertain?

i believed i can't give anyone happiness even if they could tolerate that and i can't be so selfish to keep anyone around me.

i wish you well.

"the thing i like and also hate about you not because we shared something in common but your determination holding so tight to what you wanted to achieve."

- rachel chew lip sher

"what is there to be afraid of? after all you will only die once."

- uncle onn

"we all miss you very much. office became dead quiet after you left."

- sam hoo

"i don't really give cigarrettes to anyone coz it is considered a luxury. they won't die without it and it's not cheap."

- ming kapune

"you know what..i have problems with my left wrist. i can't move it sideways but it will not stop me from being a chef just because this."

- nico winter

"you'll need to be a bit crazy if you want people to be afraid of you."

- chef foo

"the very first time that i saw you, i thought u're some sort of a typical chinese guy that you can find anywhere out there but i was wrong. sorry about that. hehe"

- valerie

"it sucks when you're attached, you don't give a shit about the other girls around you and when you're not, there's no one for you."

- darren ho

"lui hui lui wan zoi." (chinese saying in cantonese)

- goh cheng hing

"you've promised me."

- luke

"chill la, joe."

- stoner choon

"dun say like that la.. u have passion in cooking wat and u r really creative."

- chan pooi yeng

"everything is going to be ok."

- lobak loon

"i think i have told you before right...even myself i look up to you...dnt put this blame on urself....the beating up on urself is just going to make it worst..."

- rebecca choi

"no one is totally useless. it's just that your time has not come."

- dad

"everyone thinks that they deserved everything in the world but the fact is..they don't."

- joe teoh

"i am contented as i got my food and shelter."

- ruben tan

"men should choose women like their underwears....with a lil bit of support and a lil bit of freedom."

- monis siddiqui

"mutual toleration is the key."

- mom